more from the pope...

I forgot to add ages ago that I was perhaps a little sorry for my anti-papist remarks a while back... to make up for them, I shall reccomend benedict xvi's myspace site...

ghostbear

this is by 'natalie dee'. probably the second best artist I know to banksy.

new motoring rules

in order to assist other motorists in identifying potentially dangerous drivers, it is now compulsory for anyone with a lower than average iq and driving ability to display a warning flag.

the flag, comprising of a red cross on a white background, will be attached to the top of at least one door of their vehicle.

for drivers of exceptionally low mental ability, additional flags are required.

interfauna

yes, this was the best idea I've had since considering... no, that can wait - I might surprise someone.

but anyway - interfauna. unfortunately, it's been already invented by this company. they are, however, rubbish - especially with comparison to, say, these guys.

this fellow seems to get the picture, though...

monkey talk

"pyow pyow pyow... hack hack hack" are the words of monkies, according to a recent times article.

scientists postulate that 'hack' means 'eagle' and 'pyow' means 'leopard'. obviously these scientist have never talked to kill bill fans or been into a sword shop/army surplus store.

diamonds

"if God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor"

~joan rivers

mys***e

this is why mys***e is bad. just bad.

the sinfulness of sin

the sinfulness of the sinner's sin and his need for salvation speaks for itself

I pity the fool... in hell!

ok, because I have better things to do than write stuff here (like minesweeper, yay!) - I haven't got round to my post on mister T, however - here's a snippet...

mr T is a born again Christian. that means he will be in heaven. yay!

he announced in 2005 “no, T, you can never wear your gold again. it's an insult to God." this is presumably because the chains he's famous for wearing are 'trophies' from his days as a bouncer.

he was a famous bodyguard as well, at the start of his career, and is quoted saying "next to God, there is no greater protector than I."

in october this year he is scheduled to run a tv show called "I pity the fool" in which he assists those in need.

mr T > jom from jim'll fix it.
fact.

ducks, ducks ducks

things I drew today in maths:




















cath's criticisms:

[cow pic]

• cow has hood on so can't read sign pointing to where they should go
• cows can't read
• bone sticking out looks distastful.

cath did not understand which way the sign was pointing.

[ducks pic]

• they can't wear hats because the way their heads are shaped [she said 'but they have round heads!']
• ducks can't shoot guns - lack of opposable thumbs [I managed to convince her they can]
• can't put hat on (see above reasoning)
• can't reload gun
• small ducks = ducklings
• ducks size [what?! their relative size?! one's obviously the leader!]

chris's criticisms:

• they use machine guns now. [I presume a criticism of the ducks pic]
  

-what is it good for?

wow, check out this catalogue Fred found...

also, there's a very good video to watch here

I need

according to google;

• Phil needs a new act
• dr. Phil needs to help at&t
• saint Phil needs a blog
• Phil needs your help today to fight the Schwarzenegger fundraising machine
• Phil needs to be starting at center midfield. [he is a playmaker]
• Phil needs a born again experience with Jesus Christ
• Phil needshelp...
• dr. Phil needs an attitude makeover
• choo choo Phil needs prayer
• Phil needs to check for mozilla promotion on their site
• dr. Phil needs a wakeup call and this suit could be it

and that's about it...

political irony

this isn't so funny written down, but here goes...

[indian accent]
"vote BNP"

I told you it wasn't. and don't.

**coming soon: mr t; the facts**
(yeah, there's more important things to do for now than 'blog')

right guard xtreme!

yes, right guard 'xtreme' is truly xtreme. my latest brand of deoderant (it was buy-1-get-1-free), it's rather good, although kind of like spray glue.

it even has a 'safety', which I really ought to use. almost blinded myself this morning, it was scary.

iBelieve

mcf are now podcasting. respect.

ghost'd

skinnaaaaaaa

I'm not tryin to diss the streets
say vey have no vari-u-ee
what I fink you will agree
'ee was better when 'ee wozn't faymuss.


n.b. I actually think there could be amazing lyrical genious in mike skinner, but as for "vari-u-ee" in how it's expressed, hmm...

a quote from maggie...

being powerful is like being a lady.

if you have to tell people you are, you aren't

margaret thatcher

cool song

click the link on this site for a really cool song...

photos

yes, you can now see all the photos I upload by clicking here or on the links bar, right. so far they're mainly just fun mess-around shots from the past couple of days. winner.

shorts

yes, today I [also] wore shorts. they started off as trousers, but it got hot and I borrowed some scissors. frustrating really, 'cos I then remembered I was off to the theatre and so had to wear other trousers, which made me forget to take a letter that was in the now 'short' pair. oh well.

also, I found out that the reason everyone's commented on my leather tie is not because it's novel, but 'kinky'. I wish I'd been informed of this before I wore it to the theatre. ah well.

camera update v

it arrived. it's beyond my wildest dreams...

also, I may get some money off as the guy appears to have ripped me off partially battery/memory-wise, but I'm happy. photos to appear soon.

emo philips quote

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them

camera update iv

I'm in durham. here it is very lovely. the weather is nice, and the people are awesome (so far).

to add to the happiness, I'm told there's a camera-sized parcel waiting for me at home. who knows.

christian science

it looks like "christianscientists" are being put to good use - click here. now that's the kind of stuff that deserves articles.