jokes and dreams

jokes:

why is there no ibuprofen in the jungle?
because the parrots-eat-em-all

there was a snail, who wanted to buy a car. so he went to his local snail-car-dealership, picked out a nice cheap brown one to match his shell and asked the dealer "do you spray lettering?". "yes" the dealer replied, "we do. what would you like sprayed on the car?" "the letter 's'" replied the snail. "just the letter s, why would you want that?" asked the dealer. "simple" replied the snail, "so that when I speed past people, they'll say 'look at that s-car-go!'"

dreams:

in one dream I had recently, I was living in a slum. it wasn't a terrible slum, just the poor crowded flats in a run-down tower block where polish migrant workers are probably made to live. anyway, living there - there was a cat burglar. I met him at one point, and he told me he was the world's greatest cat burglar. I though that rather defeated the object. anyway, he really got my goat when I found he had been breaking and entering into people's apartments without asking. he even broke into one where there was this tree I was planning to build the best treehouse ever in, and proceeded to wrap it in barbed wire, which he stuffed into a plug and plugged into a socket in the wall. fortunately it didn't actually electrocute anyone, so he got away with it, but I was still mighty peeved. not only did he do that, but he also stole things. not big things, but things that people wouldn't notice, like cable adaptors etc. it wasn't so much that he'd inconvenienced me, just the morals of it all! shocker.

in another dream, I attended mcf (my old church). they were meeting back in a room that looked like mendlesham village hall, but actually was a whole complex and there were rooms elsewhere. I went with a friend and her family, but the main hall was full, so we had to go to the 'overflow room', which consisted of an empty room with a flatscreen telly showing what was going on. fortunately someone I already knew had saved me a seat in the main hall. anyway, there then proceeded to be a big performance in which steve and duncan spoke like they were announcing a wrestlemania contest, and gigantic (fake, fabric) flames raged behind them. there was a sermon, though, in which win fenning stood up in the congregation and preached. from what I remember, it was alright. my friend and her family were scared a bit by the rottweilers/german shepherds in the overflow section though. poor souls.

thus endeth probably the longest post I've written. couldn't be bothered to make two posts out of it, see. 'night!