give your bits

donate your organs when you die. simple as. register here

hey there Delilah

buy this song, by Plain White T's

priest and rabbi

a priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on a plane.



however, it is a short flight and they do not talk to each other.

...what do you think?

I believe that... just like with the yin and yang there's a masculine and feminine. I believe in that in a relationship. I believe that most of our problems... as people in general, is that we've forgotten our roles.

the men have forgotten their roles as men, therefore, the women have forgotten their roles. and that's where we get all this duplicity in lovemaking and duplicity in sexuality is because we've forgotten our roles and we're willing to settle for less...

Tupac Shakur

p.31

p.31 of my college's rules...

any students found picking the daffodils shall be hung, drawn and quartered at dawn on palace green.

chillow

(targeted) add of the day:

chillow - www.chillow.co.uk/BuyChillowOnline - revolutionary cooling pillow just £24.95. official UK site. buy now!

maths

"is Africa homophobic?"*

no. africa is a small gay country with aids and poverty and war and famine. it makes the news a heck of a lot though, considering how many black people live there.



but seriously, that's the title of a BBC online debate.*



on the other hand, the debate raises an interesting question. many of the comments made by nationals of African countries could be described as homophobic. if I agree with them, so am I - but if I disagree I'm a racist.



the world is stupid and makes me want to say swear words. grawrl.

*now changed to something more suitable

look around you

question: what colour is milk underneath its surface?
answer: black.

my office last year, now re-painted

Jesus alone 2

imagine if the end of Luke 2 (the bible) was like the end of home alone 2 (the film)...



Jesus: oh no. my family is in Florida and I'm in the temple... [gleefully] my family's in Florida... I'm in... the temple.



Joseph: Jesus! you spent nine hundred and sixty seven dollars on room service!



Jew: has he ever been in a situation where's been on his own?
Mary: as a matter of fact, this has happened before. It's become sort of a Barjoseph family travel tradition.
Joseph: funnily enough, we never lose our luggage.



Temple teacher: [seizes a brick] SUCK BRICK KID!



etc.

bunny

I was glad the rabbit died as we looked on.




It looked like it had myxomatosis and I had a 5 iron in my hand and that annoying thought playing on my mind that I really ought to be doing something...

from a text I received

"Hi sory I dint tb **** had a holy spirit expierence
last night n i totally 4got to tb!"

blood

yeah, ha ha - I fainted.

such a big girl's blouse. I was bear chuffed - had had no problems, and managed to squeeze out just under a pint (approx. the volume of both my hands) in 7 mins 27 - and then sat about for the 10 minutes after, like they said to...

in my last 10 seconds of that, I felt a bit queasy - but got up and went for my free squash and custard cremes.

only to find myself in the most incredible dream ever - with some idiot trying to interrupt. I realised later he was a nurse (yeah - you heard me right - he!) and I'd been out for about 10 seconds.

what made it worse was the fact that until that point I'd meant to comment to the pretty girl whose friend was having difficulty donating "maybe I should pretend to faint to make her feel better".

that'll teach me to be shallow.

I hope it was my orange squash I'd spilled on my shorts, and not sweat. or worse.

misquoted

misquoted factoid of the week:

"native americans - when they wanted to get up early in the morning - used to drink water. as many pints of water as the time they wanted to wake up..."

I'm gay

"I'm gay, am I still welcome here?"

said our pastor this morning at church.

he's married, with kids.

fortunately for them, he was introducing the title/topic for next week's service. it should be interesting - you should come. I'll give you a lift if you want, just ask!

eikon